Sun kissed skin, delicious food in the belly, strong legs and body from running, open heart and clear mind. This is my present moment. And moments like that existed only few times this month.
I have been feeling so many strange feelings these past weeks. I felt repetition, I felt stuck, I felt like identity death, many triggers bringing things for me to transform, uff internal world has been pretty intense.
On the outside shell life has been treating me with a lot of reunions, gatherings and social time. I felt so much fun dancing around and truly apreciated time with my beloved ones.
And in the air, like a bird I started feeling the change.
When you travel for many years you get to recognise that subtle shift, way before the obvious. And I griefed. Don't know what I exactly griefed for. Perhaps that part of Ligita that always said yes, or that thought that now I am responsible for many things or perhaps an idea about certain person that already flourished in my imagination way too fast.
I felt uncomfortable with those feelings inside. I wanted to escape them. Quick dopamine dose of my phone, delicious food soothing the sadness, doing instead of feeling. But sometimes I sat and looked within. What stories don't serve me anymore, who am I beyond the masks, roles and personality traits.
Looking within is exhausting sometimes, because the more you are aware the more you are capable to feel. And since I am not a robot experiencing only one setting of experiences, some new ones arrive that I have no default settings for. Fun.
But anyway, I wanted to tell you something. Most of you already know.
In one months time after nearly 3 years in Latin America I am finally coming to visit my land Lithuania and Europe in general.
I am coming for a summer visit. To spend time with family and friends, drink cacao together, be in my forest and lakes and to work what I love and save some money.
I am very open to unknown. The bird is leaving its nest for some time. Let's see what unfolds.
See you in Europe ❤️
