Hello dear friends,
Happy summer everyone!
It's been some time since I wanted to sit and write down some of my reflexions.
Since my arrival in Lithuania quite few things have changed or got moved. The planned trip to see my friends in Austria and then work in Greece had to be cancelled.
My family situation was always a bit shaky. Relationship with my stepfather got each year more distant, uncaring and quite painful. The dynamics in the family too were changing and I could sense a lot of manipulation, attachment and suffering between my mum and him.
These topics are quite common in romantic relationships (and not only!) and it is quite difficult to be just an observer without being entangled in all that emotional rollercoaster.
It can be difficult to be in a romantic relationship and believe in a change, especially after living together for so many years. However, I do believe that in order to evolve and live in healthy relationship you must be open for change, look within and get to know yourself better.
It is an easier life when you are by yourself, you don't need to compromise, you are your own boss. But once there is another person involved, it is then important to look within. And without knowing yourself, your patterns, your triggers, an understanding from where it all comes it can become toxic and unhealthy.
I chose to stay by my mum's side and extend my stay in Lithuania for two more months. Not because I can change something that involves two grown-up adults but because I can offer my support and love by her side.
This huge crisis brought a transformation in my family. Not just for my mum or my stepfather but also for me.
To see a man who is brought up to be tough, who does not know how he feels, who used to drown that suffering in alcohol and see the change in his action gives me hope. Being apologised also glued something inside of me. To see my mum asking questions about what is really a healthy relationship, what are her boundaries in this victim role warms my heart.
I have been digging into these topics all those travelling years. Travelling gave me a lot of knowledge within myself and most importantly my own tools to navigate through my life in my lows and highs. But to see a completely different generation people digging into these same topics inspires me and gives me hope.
In the end, nobody really knows the truth but why not to walk the path towards your own truth and freedom?
These weeks have been full of mirrors for me too look inside and glue some parts that were broken. I feel rooted in my own land, I feel strong connection so my spirit can continue travelling the path of freedom.
And it is not a happy ending, the suffering in my family is still there, the deep programming is still taking its position but something deep has been shaken. And I am really grateful for that.
For now, I keep watching others, myself and keep checking within if there is something else to free myself off. I fall down but I stand up again because I am believer of magic, believer of change, believer of better more conscious society, more conscious myself.
So until the end of July I am here, in my homeland. If some of you, travelling souls, pass by these lands don't forget to visit 🙏❤️🤗
Ligita
