My dear Mexico

Mi querido México,

It's been now over a year that I breathed your air.

Why are you here in Mexico? I get that asked pretty often by locals.

I think as a person representing tiny little country somewhere north east in Europe I am like an exotic fish in a tank.

And no I didn't come for some cheap land by the ocean to spend the rest of my retired life. Nor did I follow a man seduced by his nice words. Or stayed for comfy good weather.

I moved around for many years, always with a curiosity, open heart and spontaneity. I followed my passions, new smells, new experiences. It felt like home wherever I chose to be.

Not that everything was like a smooth texture in my life. I fell over many times, sometimes with big bruises and sometimes deep wounds.

But this gift of listening to my own dreams kept me rewarded. With people, situations, loves.

When I came to Mexico for the first time my inner world was projected right at me. I didn't like what I saw. So I travelled a bit here and a bit there.

When I healed what I needed to heal at that time I gave Mexico second chance. And that was it.

Mexico seduced me like the most passionate lover giving you kisses on your neck and holding tight in his arms at night.

And like Pandora box, everything started to open for me.

I sensed this incredible mystical side of it, charged by huge ancient civilizations, witches and wizards who charged this land with their magical powers.

I sensed so many lessons coming right at me. 

Ability to be content in whatever I am. Whether I am in a cold rain, burning sun or deep loneliness.

The ability to stand up whether I am crashed by emotions or a huge hurricane outside.

To take it slow. To be patient. To let go when it is too much of the fight.

To confront the robber in front of me with a gun looking into my eyes.

To live simply but in full power.

To give gratitude, not because that is so trendy in cacao circles but because you really have no idea what comes tomorrow.

To give way. To an elderly or a pregnant lady in a cramped hot microbus, not because they can't but because I still can.

Not to give so much importance to the outside. Whether it is chicken or barking dog or some cringy tune played out loud. Still working on this one.

To smile, to talk back, even when some think I am just a gringo who can't speak back to them in spanish.

Mexico has given me fruit of all sort. There are also so many tough things that happen around. Paradise is the inner state and from time to time I get to see some dark shit too.

So why am I here after so many years on my travels. After so many countries that blew my mind?

I guess this time of my life is about building some deep foundations and Mexico just mysteriously called me here.

The right place at the right time. Like everything in this life. Already mystically orchestrated for you.

With so much gratitude and love to this incredible land,

Ligita

Cacao, My Love

Heyyyy you all, 

I was about to write and update on my Gemini season and doubts and all that jazz I am going through right now but I just ate my Coconut Milk chocolate and it made me realize how long I haven't written about my love cacao in this blog.

I don't know if you realize but it has been one entire year that I committed to one dream of mine- to transform cacao bean and to continue exploring alchemy.

Well, this time last year after learning all I can in an amazing permaculture and cacao farm in Costa Rica I became trained chocolate maker. I then moved to my soul's country Mexico and started exploring the lands of Tabasco and Chiapas looking for the bean I wanna work with.

After a month I found her and then just by pure feeling moved to Guerrero state on the Pacific coast of Mexico.

I put everything in this dream. Because when I love something (or someone 😏) I go all the way. 

Many years on the road taught me to trust my own path. To live life with philosophy that when you follow that sparkle within your heart the great Universe becomes your biggest ally.

This whole year of working or shall I say co-creating with cacao taught me a lot. 

I dropped my judgements of how one should have or prepare their cacao. I learnt that there is so much marketing behind this noble, simple yet so magical bean. I started to run away from words like '"ceremony", "sacred", "empowering". Not because I don't believe them but because they changed the essence. 

Cacao taught me of simplicity that lies in the heart of each one of us. She taught me how to be humble, how to gift and how to receive when time is right.

She showed me that her spirit lives in everything that is created with cacao. I watched people connecting with themselves and appreciating the present moment with a simple chocolate in their hand.

I created a bean-to-bar chocolate brand and every little part of this project has been made and thought by me. I was the one travelling to look for producers, the one ordering cacao to be sent from another region, the one paying the bills, grinding the beans, tempering, whole production. Creating the ratios of ingredients. The one cutting the papers, packaging, going to the city to get supplies, writing down the flavours, dealing with delays, dealing with cacao price nearly trippling. The one selling in the market in high season, talking with shop owner, connecting with cafes around, getting my chocolates in, finding private clients, delivering with my moto, wow. WHAT A JOURNEY! And everything from my home kitchen, in sub tropics with simple gear and bearly any savings. And on top of that doing it in a small very seasonal mexican village.

Now if that is not a dedication or some huge crush with cacao I don't know then what is that.

And yet I find myself in crossroads right now. I am trying to find a balance where my cacao creations and future projects have a right soil to grow. Expansion of my creativity is something I attend and guard very well. 

So who knows what the future holds. All I can do is to listen within and keep following my intuition.

I am going to the desert next week. Time to talk with stars and cactus.

Keep on creating, keep on shining you all ❤️

Sensual Taurus Times

hello dear friends,

The Taurus season is nearly over. And like some of you know this year I am living with different sign energy each month. I dive into qualities of each sign and try to make decisions according to each sign. It's pretty fun. And I must say I have been loving Taurus season.

Of course I was also hanging out a lot with my favourite Taurus who gave a lot of butterflies in my belly and made me learn more.

I have fully indulged this month. With food, with love, with sensual activities and some deep comfort. I let myself be slower, more comfy, even some days lazy. I let myself watch things on my phone and really tried to enjoy them instead of feeling guilty. I slept in few yoga mornings. Well, but I also kept my direction on, like a good Taurus.

My life is about finding balance and I tend to be more on the productive side, always in action so these weeks felt actually delicious.

I accepted change of the season and instead of running like a headless chicken I gave myself some space. And quite literally because few days ago I moved into a new place. With so much more space, and air, and light, and trees.

For the first time in my life I am renting my own place by myself. Not living in a community, or sharing cramped room in the snowy Alps, or living in my job place in some awesome retreat centre. No, just me and my rent, haha. I don't know for how long this stage will last for me but in order to understand this life completely I guess I am experimenting with an unknown zone.

My chocolate making speed has slowed down. I tend to write more, got a bit back to playing guitar and I spent a lot of time by or in the Ocean.

The first rain already arrived, opening the pores of trees and my lungs. I get to experience clouds after so many months of blue skies. My lucid dreams come more often and it looks like I cocooned a bit in my little cute bubble.

And as this month approaches slowly to the end, I prepare myself to let another soul go and explore. And ohh, how much one part of me wants to hold on and not let go. But that's not how life works. We are all here walking our beautiful paths, sometimes paths intertwining and sometimes walking different directions. The beauty of following your heart and living in the presence.

So what will Gemini season gonna bring? This communicative, social and many faces sign might shake some things up. I guess I will be attending a lot of gatherings this month.

Let's see.

With much love,

Ligita