Ola!
Well, it’s been a while since I sat down and contemplated
things on the computer screen. During these past months I am not using the internet
that much hence why I appear here rarely.
My New Year have started with a boom. Or an explosion of
feelings.
On the last day of 2020 I have found myself in a party, full
of travellers and high spirits. It was an incredible feeling to be celebrating
after a such long hibernation mood. It was so inspiring to see people still
living their truths no matter what is happening around. I felt so high on life,
so happy. I love spontaneous celebrations and this feeling of meeting new
people, of hearing new stories is one of the reason why after 11 years of
travelling I am still on the road.
And for the next 2 weeks I found myself ‘locked in’ at the
amazing hostel, a converted old villa right at the beach with a beautiful sea
view. The weather spoiled us all. January has always been a problematic one for
me, but this time I was one of the happiest.
I finally started to practise long wanted open relationship
with few partners and explored my insecurities, jealousies and wilderness.
With new friends, lots of fun and Julien’s accident in the
sea I made a new plan and left Greece.
It felt emotional, in the end I stayed around 7 months in
that land of Gods, I connected a lot with this beautiful chaotic land.
For the past 3-4 weeks I have been in Portugal. And if I
thought that my first 2 weeks in January have been intense, well, I had to
change my opinion again. I started to dig deeper into Tantra and explore what
does it mean the love with no attachment (a difficult one!). Thing after a
thing and I found myself drinking the plant medicine in one of the ceremonies
around here. And that was intense, beautiful, deep and actually quite blissful.
Many insights that were inside me anyway, were assured to me. I felt an
incredible connection and gratitude, towards everyone and everything.
And then some bad news, a death of my father. That one
kicked my ass. It shook everything what was inside me and made me lose some of
my painted identities. I revisited my childhood lots of times. I prayed for my
dad’s soul, to be liberated and free. I prayed for the ones, that are still
here in their bodies, for their suffering and loneliness. I cried for myself
too, I let that little girl inside me to be held and rocked all night long. I
expressed myself in writing and had long deep conversations with Julien.
And then, after 3 weeks of clouds and rain, the sun have arrived.
The beautiful blue sky and ocean, caressing my soul washed a lot of things
away. I felt so good. But the intensity is still here. And in these past 2
months I have grown a lot.
And please, don’t take this post as a sorry call. It’s just
much more personal update than normally. I am very fine. And I understand that
everything in life is ups and downs, rest and celebration, happiness and
sadness, light and darkness. And for the end, I would like to share something I
read today by Mooji:
‘’Life doesn’t owe you anything. If you take this attitude
then you are grateful for everything. What have you done to deserve 30 years of
fresh oxygen? What has anyone done to have a heart that is beating even while
one is asleep? What have you done to deserve anything at all and who are you
even? If you contemplate these things deeply you would not be arrogant and you
would not suffer. You would value life in all its expressions.’’
With much love,
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| Matching |
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| Beautiful Evia, Greece |
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| View from the hostel |
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| Sunny Lisboa |
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| Salema, Portugal |
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| I love our hut! |
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| Powerful Ocean |
