Last Weeks of the Quiet

Hi friend,

Happy full moon.

This October has been full of reflexions, new unexpected turns in my life, running and breathing. 

I was very close to get married (another story to tell hehe) and the last weeks of it everything got upside down. 

Now, as a believer of the higher creative force I know that it happened for a reason and for my higher good. However, I still managed to suffer a bit, feel friend's betrayal and sadness. It also gave me freedom to look at the things more openly and have less fears. My marriage, by the way was a plan for something uncommon ☺️ 

So I sat with all this sadness and let it pass through me. It felt stingy.

October was also a lot about running. I managed to get the 4th place between women in trail run of 13 km which made me feel super proud of myself and motivated to continue my runs. I dived deeper into traditional hatha yoga and followed the steps to work with my energy and clarify my mind.

I also reflected on relationships I had, the patterns I noticed, the categories of men I fell for and clarified within myself that I am ready for a comitted partnership where the other sees relationship as an opportunity to spiritually evolve, grow and create together something bigger than just one person can.

After so many years of wandering around my soul seems to be ready for depth in all aspects of my life.

I also noticed that my connection to the creator, the higher force got back in my life supporting me through lows and highs. I became friends with solitude and found peace with the worlds/mine problems. Somehow a lot of puzzle pieces got together and I could finally see a clear image.

Now sitting here and writing all this makes me smile, as I feel that I came out of that deep shadow work to see the light again. To be a child again, to play, to laugh. In the shadows of the dark I also learnt that I have nowhere to go, nothing to do. That I am in a right place at a right time. That I chose all this and that soul only wants to know the true being. That my state of being is something I can become Master of and everything else are just details. So do I choose freedom or suffering? Easy to write, I know. But I try to walk this talk too. 

So yeah, happy to be alive, happy to be digging into the dark night of my soul or whatever that was, happy to breathe and be in a right place, right time. Nowhere to go, noone to be ❤️