Hola todos,
Well, after so many years of dreaming about Latin America I am finally writing this post all the way from there.
If you are a little follower of my fast changing life you might have heard about my little broken heart. Well, it happened to be that there were still something to learn for me from a beautiful relationship I had with Rafa. We arrived to Mexico to depart different ways. And that hurted. But, something was still holding us to travel together. So we did and it felt like a honeymoon of our break-up. I know, a bittersweet story.
When we departed that pain of separation hit my face again. But I have experienced it before so I was ready. I walked around and griefed, I washed myself in the river and cried (still do) daily. The memories, the hopes ohh that bittersweet hope were the most painful. Like a little girl feeling sorry for myself I also remembered the joys of being alone. I have walked through life experiences before to understand the depth of death. I have clinged dearly on before to teach myself the practise of letting go. And there is still shit loads of that baggage for me to cry through. To feel through. If there is something that I learnt from Rafa is to feel more, to accept myself with my closed heart, with my protection layers peeling in the most painful ways, to live life presently and feel all the emotions that pass through me.
Well, with all this said I have been experiencing something that I have always dreamt about- the Rainbow gathering. In my words and understanding, the gathering, the celebration of free and peaceful beings living in nature for the cycle of the moon. And that was beautiful and ugly, inspiring and irritating, free and delussional, opinionated and open-minded. The real reflexion of this world.
I have met beautiful people, I have laughed at the ones that want to prove their points so badly, I got mad at ego trips and felt in love with the nature around me. Everything around me was a reminder or a mirror of myself, all the beautiful parts of myself and all the hidden ones. I sang to the moon to feel one with everybody and I was shitting in front of others to realise my old conditionings. I saw my need to fit in, to be in the centre of attention, I saw my fear of not being good enough, interesting enough. I also felt my open heart from time to time. I helped in the kitchen and listened to so many beautiful people making incredible music. I also endured the pains and the bites of various insects and adored the plants around me, so exotic, so lush of life.
I felt good and bad and just when I started to feel more connected I also started to feel like moving on. Towards the mountains, towards the ocean. On my own. It is still an art I am re-learning. But it feels good most of the times.
Mexico feels crazy and dangerous, vivid and full of friendly people. It has this spice of Latin America, this spice that I wanted to smell for so many years. And let's see what else I get to discover.
Thank you for reading and being intetested in me, I miss badly my close friends.
Enjoy the festivities and see you in 2022.
Con mucho amor,
Ligita
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