Portuguese Worries

Bom dia,

It happened to be that I spent nearly a month in Portugal. How does the time fly so fast? I swear I still remember the smell of pine forests in Lithuania..

Well, this time it was a difficult chapter of my life. Beautiful as well. This humble and sweet country always makes me feel at home. I really love spending time in Portugal.

This time it was a stop before the big decision 'where to spend the winter?'. Sometimes it felt like a drag, so where to go, what to do, should I vaccinate, should we buy a van.. man, it felt like a white privileged man problems. Cause they were!

Seeing friends brought memories of stability, of comfort. Being on the road is not always fun, I tend to get these crisis moments of doubts, often when I lose my ground..

And then a big sad heart pain related to love matters. Separation kills me. Kills my ego, kills my attachments, and a bit of my heart. It happened to be that life has prepared me another plan. After being together with somebody you love, it's so hard to let them go. All the future imaginations crumble, all the past memories bite you like mosquitos in the night buzzing around till you lose your temper. Your heart hurts, your head is overfilled, your eyes are tired from salty tears, the emotions bombard you just to show you can really feel them all. Oh dear, like my good friend says, who said that relationships supposed to be easy.. Can't I ask for it?

But life goes on. You fall and you stand up again until the next fall. And then you stand up again, and you fall..And it goes like merry go round. The drama in front of your eyes. What a wonderful drama. But that little self pity girl inside just cries, gets so involved with all this that she forgets to be an audience, she becomes an actress. 

Well, life is a bit sad at the moment. And that's ok. I am sick of just happy posts. BUT!

There is something extremely crazy happening as well. 

I am finally going to Latin America!!!!! Well, let's start with Mexico first. With broken heart but man, with so much excitement. Can you be sad and happy in the same time???? Because i might be an example.

So friends and friends of the friends, the ones that are far out there, let's connect and meet up if you are in that wild part of the world.

With happiness and sadness and as always love,

Ligita