A Smell of Change

Hello you who reads this ✨

Today I was dealing with that loneliness and fear feeling once I smell the change coming. So I thought I will catch this melancholic feeling and put some words here in this sacred space of mine, my little blog.

First I want to say thanks to this social and action packed month. Aries season lived accordingly to this firey sign representing action, movement and fun.

I have attended beautiful gatherings, packed with music, dance, parties, friends and love. Like a little bee I managed to squeeze all in this month, my passionate work, a beautiful love story and friends. 

And like everything in life, the wind brings new beginnings and some endings too.

My beloved market I sell my babies at closed for a low season, some beautiful souls left the place I live in, certain things have changed with cacao beans I worked with for the last 8 months leading me to look for another bean and the village I live in slowly got emptier.

Now if you wanna know I am not leaving. For the first time in my life, well technically second :D I am staying through high and low. I am talking about places you guys. 

For so many years I have always lived high seasons. When places got empty I took my backpack and flew with the wind. And this time I am staying. Because my heart wants so. Because I trust that no matter how scary unknown can be I always have choice to change. Because my heart wants to keep co-creating with cacao, keep expanding, keep exploring this incredible country. Because this time I am the one looking at the things leaving. Because for now I choose consistency.

I have no idea how the low season will treat me and how I will manage to not only survive but thrive too but I guess I will take my risks. Because why not. Because what do I have to lose. Because I need to walk my talk.

But I still see those little fears sneaking in,that loneliness that creeps in, that not enough and wanting more feeling. I see them, I acknowledge them and together with this mad crazy ocean we wash them away.

I wish you beautiful Taurus season. This year I am living according to horoscope signs. So let's embrace the season of comfort,patience, sensuality, food, earth,grounding and pleasures. Mmmm.

I love you ♥️

Simple Magical Life

Hey beautiful friends,

As I am writing this I am lying down in my bed, listening to some Mexican rock band tunes, eating my 60% coconut milk chocolate and just feeling so in a right place in a right moment.

My life is not always like that. I struggle with attachment to lovers, people in my life, I get bored easily, I scroll on instagram, I get lonely, my teeth break from time to time and I have to pay lots of money to repair them, I am mean to somebody, I sometimes have no money, I compare myself to others, I care when somebody makes a stupid remark, I judge unauthentic people, I get jeolous, I cry for P🔥lestine and the injustice in the world, I cry for another animal being eaten without neccesity. 

But right now right here I am fulfilled. So far I worked with 100kg cacao beans with my creation of Tribu del Cacao. It feels special to know that 100kg beans have been transformed by my hands, that all those creations travelled far with people who came to my village here in Mexico and bought them from me.

It feels right to have love in my life. To go beyond concepts, ideologies, to trust that sometimes what I want is not brought by the Universe in the form I want.

I trust in power of humanity. Even though my dreams are sometimes too disturbed by another video of so much suffering in P🔥lestine and other places around. I keep them watching. I keep listening. I keep standing up with love and kindness. Sometimes falling down from my own division and judgement but then looking up at the starry night and smiling at the moon who always whispers me the secrets of magic. 

I don't have much, yet I have absolutely everything I need. I drop my Scorpio attitude all or nothing and just flow with my beloved home inspirational Mexico.    

I have been stable for nearly 10 months. Committed to one project, to one place. And for a traveller who moved non stop for the last 15 years that feels so unusually satisfying. And I guess it doesn't really matter you travel or stay in one place. Travelling inwards that's what brought me in this moment. Listening to my heart, creating the world I believe in, courageously loving myself.

So life flows. With cacao, sea salt on my skin, Negrita's roamy motorbike fumes, with wonderful souls around me, music and the starry nights. 

I wish we could all live in the moment and share love ❤️

Photo of Rody Del Pozo

Photo of Rody del Pozo

Photo of Rody Del Pozo

Men in My Life

Hey beauties,

I was about to write an update of my life, my chocolates, my dreamy mexican simple life and so on and then I thought, I want juicy things so why not to share a topic that I have been thinking to write about for a long time. My love life.

And the funny thing is that by accident it happens to be an international women day. So I raise my cacao toast to all the women around who took part in my life, taught me so much, mirrored and enriched my life. You know who you are and I so appreciate you in this cute life of ours.

But let's continue with juice 😂

I had many conversations around this topic and I always found myself in so much gratitude because nearly all men that got romantically involved with me wether that was a monogomous relationship, polyamorous fun, open relationships or lovers these men taught me a lot.

I have nevet felt a toxicity and always wonderred why so many women complain about men, to me, it felt that healthy mature creative fun spiritual affectionate men are everywhere. I am still a fond believer of that. 

Now the first example of a man in my life was far away from a healthy example. My dad was an alcoholic and was abusing my mom in front of me and my sister for many years. So I really saw what kind of man I didn't want in my life. I also saw the beautiful parts of my dad that were still not eaten by alcohol and in my little virgo catalog I kept those ones and made sure that men will come to my life the way I was imagining them. And they did.

Well one may ask so why are you now single? I guess men, like friends come and go, some staying for a month or a few brief moments while others stay forever in your life. I believe that the energy stays around for a long time but like with everything, life is full of change and some teachers and mirrors serve both sides for certain time in your life.

There have been challenges and difficult moments, there have been some little slips with some lovers but generally speaking I am very grateful for these beautiful men in my life that shared more than a romantic moment. 

Women too. I swear there was a moment in my life when I thought I am a lesbian, well, more like bisexual, but my dear friend Hugo kept reminding me that it is just a period in my life. And he was right. I definitely don't label my sexuality because I fall in love with a person, not a gender but let's say men have always made my head spin around.

If another person is a projection of mine then I have seen a lot of sides of me. I have seen some faults that have been deeply burried within me, I have seen some incredible powers that have never been unlocked before, I have seen some beauty and the darkness. And I give thanks to these souls because they have touched my heart, they have made crazy in love, they have made me understand myself more so I keep evolving as a conscious woman. 

You know who you are. Keep spreading that love and keep remembering that you are my projection and I am yours.

Ayyy, is this connected with a Spring energy? Who else is feeling juicy or am I the only one? 😂